How am I Supposed to Plan a Wedding, Work, and Have a Life?

That’s a legitimate question that you may be asking yourself daily while you are planning your wedding. All the details, decisions and deadlines can truly be daunting. (You see what we did there with the alliteration?)  You may find yourself completely shutting down and ignoring all the things you need to do for the wedding. We get it, we have been there as brides and we know just how many details go into making a wedding happen.

So how do you keep yourself from hitting that wall and experiencing wedding planning fatigue?  Here are five ways to make the planning fun and keep yourself out of the weeds.

1. Plan Ahead

I have to be honest, this is something we are really good at when it comes to work but not so much when it comes to personal life. Whether or not you are a type A with your entire week mapped out or a complete go-with-the-flow, whatever happens happens person, it is a good idea to map our your wedding planning.

There are lots of checklists online that you can use to keep yourself on track, we use Aisle Planner to help our couples stay organized but the Knot has a great customizable one as well.

Why is it important to have a plan?

There are so many more things to do than you will even anticipate.  Yes, you know you need a venue, a photographer and caterer. Other things will crop up that you don’t think about like how to transport all 120 out of town guests to the reception that is on a windy road thirty minutes outside the city, or where exactly those 120 guests are going to stay when they get into town.

If you use your checklist to keep yourself somewhat on track you will be able to accomplish tasks in increments as opposed to having to give up all your nights and a weekends trying to cram it in at once.  It is seriously like being back in school, study through the semester and you don’t have to cram for the test.  We promise, this commencement will be way more fun.

What About all Those Questions From Guests?

Where should we stay? Where should we eat? Where are you registered?  Yeah, you will get a lot of questions from people. Put all this stuff on a wedding website.  It may take time at first but two weeks before the wedding you will be glad you have a place to direct friends and family for answers to alllll their questions. The Knot and Zola have some great free options and Squarespace has some really pretty but inexpensive options.

2. Put it on Your Calendar

This sounds obvious but mark the time out on your calendar. You will be so much more likely to do it if you pencil in a lunch date with wedding planning or know that on Thursday night you are going to sit down and work on the wedding tasks for the week.  You will be so much more likely to actually accomplish tasks if you look at them like a commitment rather than that thing hanging over your head that you really should do but are going to push to the next week. (Umm, speaking for a friend not from experience…)

We also love to plan “vendor meeting marathon” days with our couples. This is a day when we meet with multiple vendors (like rentals, lighting and flowers) in the same day.  It is long but really fun to see the your wedding come together in one day. Also, super productive–there is nothing quite as satisfying as checking multiple things off the list at the same time!

If your fiance wants to be involved, let them. Don’t try to shoulder all the planning yourself. Release some of it and let them be in charge and do the leg work or do it together!

Does This Mean I Can Plan my Entire Wedding From Work?

Umm, that is not what we are saying.  We know, it is exciting so you are using some company time to do some research but maybe don’t schedule all your wedding planning duties during work hours.  Lunch is a great time to mark things off the list or right after work.  Get it down before you sit down for dinner and before you start binge watching something on Netflix.

3. Make it Fun

Pour a glass of wine, get a beer out of the fridge and get cozy.  Make it a game.  When you sit down to come up with your guest list try to have fun with it. Put on music, dance between breaks, make jokes. Brainstorm about the fun things you can do at your wedding, dream about food, about entertainment, about decor. Talk about your dream wedding together.

When it comes to stuffing or addressing envelopes, make it a party.  Turn on music or put a movie on in the background. But, you may want to make it a movie you have seen though so you don’t get caught up in the storyline and totally forget to stuff envelopes.

Try not get caught up in all the emotional drama that creeps in.  It is OK that you can’t do that elaborate wedding you see on Pinterest, it is not a big deal that you can’t turn your wedding into a music festival–it will still be really fun.  Let yourself be creative and think outside the box for the experiences you want your guests to have but don’t get consumed by them. Don’t play the comparison game with what your friends have done or what you have seen on Pinterest. It will only make you go nuts.

Also, embrace the crazy. That could be your family (yeah, everyone’s is a bit crazy), your schedule, your guest list. Know it is coming, embrace it and joke about it. You and your fiance are in this together.  Don’t focus on the negatives that come along with planning put the positives that come along with a wedding and a marriage. (In case you have forgotten, that is a kick-ass party, an amazing vacation and a life together.)

4. Put Down the Checklist and Go Out on a Date.

Yep. Forget it all for an entire night.  Don’t talk about it, don’t obsess over it, just leave it at home and go out on a date.  And we don’t mean just one date in a year, make this a regular thing.

You can also be creative with this and totally turn it into underground wedding planning. If you are thinking about a food truck, go and eat from the truck one night, go listen to the band or DJ you are considering play.  Enjoy some of the wedding elements as if you were guests so you can see what the experience may be for them. (So maybe that isn’t totally forgetting the wedding planning…)

If you eat, sleep and breathe this wedding it will consume you and that is the last thing you want.  Yes, the wedding is a big day, and yes, you want it to go well but it is not what defines your year or your life.  Take time to be a couple and focus on each other. At the end of the day, each other is what you have. The wedding planning should not be the third wheel in your relationship.

5. Get a Wedding Planner

I mean, we had to say that right?  If budget allows, a wedding planner can take some of the logistic crap that you don’t want to deal with off your plate and leave more time for you to research the fun things. Your planner can determine if the venue has enough power for the lighting and the band, whether the caterer has the hotbox they need or whether you have enough tables for your reception.  This allows you to look at beautiful flowers on Pinterest, go to a cake tasting and make out that dreaded guest list. (Though, you really don’t have to twist our arms too hard to get us to taste cake with you.)

Your planner is a sounding board, a liaison between you and your mom, and someone who has done this before. We know that a planner is not always an option for people. Look for a coordinator who is available for questions.  Even with our most basic package, we are there as moral support and a resource through the wedding planning process. While we may only be handling all the details in the six weeks leading up to the wedding, we are there for our couples to email or call us and ask questions through the entire process. Wedding planner on call.

Educate Yourself

If a planner is just not your thing, educate yourself.  There are some really great resources for couples planning their wedding. Some of our favorites are:

• Planning + Prosecco (umm, yeah you caught us. This is us.)
• Bridechilla
• Bride de Force
• The Knot
• Wedding Wire

This stage of your life only happens once. Enjoy being engaged and don’t let the details and stress of wedding planning bog you down and cloud this year. At the end of the day, you will be married and together even if you don’t have that giant cake hanging from the ceiling. What feels like a big deal right now won’t be in eleven months or eleven years.  What will be a big deal is that you have everyone you love in one place to celebrate with you.